Love your neighbor as yourself
What does it mean to love someone like yourself?
Rashi comments on our pasuk:
לא תקם: אמר לו השאילני מגלך. אמר לו לאו. למחר אמר לו השאילני קרדומך. אמר לו איני משאילך כדרך שלא השאלתני, זו היא נקימה
ואיזו היא נטירה, אמר לו השאילני קרדומך. אמר לו לאו. למחר אמר לו השאילני מגלך. אמר לו הא לך ואיני כמותך, שלא השאלתני. זו היא נטירה, שנוטר האיבה בלבו אף על פי שאינו נוקם |
You shall neither take revenge: For example: He says to his neighbor, "Lend me your sickle," and the neighbor replies, "No." The next day, the neighbor says to him, "Lend me your ax." If he says, "I will not lend it to you, just as you did not lend to me!" this constitutes revenge.
And what constitutes "bearing a grudge?" For example: he says to his neighbor, "Lend me your ax," and the neighbor replies, "No." The next day, the neighbor says to him, "Lend me your sickle." Now, if he says, "Here it is, unlike you who did not lend yours to me!" this constitutes "bearing a grudge," for he keeps the hatred in his heart, even though he does not take revenge. |
Rashi explains that you should treat people the way you would like to be treated, not the way they treat you. That includes not reminding them of their own improper behavior.